learning curves

i went to sleep last night alert. i am either being reminded of and/or learning new things about myself. this weekend has been a fresh one for me. for the first time in a a very long time, i have allowed myself to be present with making some things. to everyone and everything that i am beholden to, i apologize for being self-centered. thanks for your understanding. it feels great. i am enjoying the silence...roaming about in my mind.

i am interpreting a concept for a friend's group show called 'love.' those of you who know me, know that i am not one to ever stray from my projects or from what i like to address in my work...so when my friend, shawn asked me to join him in this show, i was a bit leary, but immediately said yes from a place of love for what he is setting out to do.

thank you shawn, for getting me back to simple inquiries. thank you for reminding me that sometimes allowing outside hands into my work space can move me into directions that may not have occurred otherwise.

o.k. i get it:
1. i am not good at being 'crafty' for the sake of making something look good. There is no Martha Stewart destiny for me.

2. i work slow. very slow. i spend a lot of time looking at each stage of a piece.
why is it so ugly? how can i get rid of that texture? should i make the texture more ruinous?
where did that bubble come from? does it matter? i'm excited about this. would anyone else get it? who cares.
what am i thinking-that color is just fucked up. what happened to all of the writing? is it a sign. no bring it back.
well that was stupid. this is looking hot. (dancing) oops. do it again. no grab the other one, stick it in the oven...will the cancer causing agents be bad for me? i really like those towers. yep. they're just right. where's the charcoal. now you've made it worse. (looking looking looking looking..got it) so far back no one will know what it said. like this like this. what about the sides. want to test the oven. do a tester.

3. this is my favorite place to be. everything is right in my world when i make room for art.

i'm calling this one 'love in the 21st century, parallel one and two.'

i hope you all can honor yourselves and your life today in a special way!